4 words to ban from your life and transform your career

4 words to ban from your life and transform your career4 words to ban from your life and transform your careerThere are four simple words that are eroding your life, and stunting your career.Four simple words, seemingly meaningless when uttered, as if they didnt have the power to stop time and kill dreams. They are comfort coma-inducing as they insidiously invade your psyche and innocently usher you down the path of procrastination justification, all the while portraying you to your peers, direct managers, and corporate leaders as disappointed, unfulfilled, and malcontent.Follow Ladders on FlipboardFollow Ladders magazines on Flipboard covering Happiness, Productivity, Job Satisfaction, Neuroscience, and moreFour simple words Ill be happy when All of us get but just one fleeting whisper of time on this big, juicy, beautiful planet. Why not demand a big, juicy, beautiful life too? The average person lives 27,375 days. Thats 657,000 hours. Why not love every one of those hours, whet her you are at work or at play?Ill be happy when I clock out.Ill be happy when Im on vacation.Ill be happy when I get that promotion.What on earth are you waiting for?In even considering these words, you hand over your power and your happiness to forces outside of your control. You show those around you that youd rather be anywhere but where you are, working with anyone but your current teammates, and working on any project than the one right in front of you, the one which might mean nothing to you, but certainly does to others. You might as well piste a sign around your neck that says, Thank you, next.If your work isnt helping you live the life you want to live, then you need to find yourself different work work that contributes to what matters to you. It should reflect the values you wish to live or the lifestyle youd like to afford. It should help you build your career. It should help you manifest your values. It should have a purpose for you.In praise of ambitionNow, dont get m e wrong. Im not saying that you shouldnt be ambitious and dream big dreams. Its just the opposite. Im a firm believer in ambition, a word that has gotten a bad rap of late. Part of the reason weve lost ownership of our unspoken dreams is that weve been persuaded to allow our ambition to be subsumed into something that is more socially acceptable faux humility. We dont speak aloud our ambition of tomorrow, so we silently stew in the unhappiness of today.Think for a moment about why youll be happy when Why do you want to get ahead? What do you want to do with that power? Do you want to change your family, your community, your country, your world? Do you want to make a mark, large or small, on this earth? What kind of life do you want to live? How do you want to raise your family? Do you want to give back? Will an elevated position, an increased salary, and a voice of leadership help you do this? Of course it will. And that makes it no longer just your ambition, but your responsibility .Figuring out what mattersFor your work to matter for you to be happy now and not when it needs to be attached to something that actually matters to you. There is no day in the week called someday so stop waiting for it to roll around on the calendar. Instead, decide what matters to you now.In buchen to figure out what matters to you, youll need to stop listening to everyone elses version of what matters to them. All that does is put you on a treadmill that speeds up, faster and faster, but gets you nowhere. And, thats because the problem isnt how we achieve success, its how we define success. We can work endlessly, filing all the right check boxes of generally accepted, externally defined success, but still feel empty. We still feel limited.And heres why You cant be insatiably hungry, or deeply inspired, or happily fulfilled by someone elses goals. In order for your working life to feel right for you, it has to actually be right for you. So, heres what that means for you Being li mitless comes not from achieving externally defined success, but achieving consonance, where what you do matches who you are (or want to be).That requires doing something different. The first step in throwing off the shackles of everyone elses expectations and becoming limitless is to ignore everyone elses definitions of success and create your own, owning how much importance you place on, and from where you derive, the four elements of calling, connection, contribution, and control.Calling is a gravitational pull towards a goal larger than yourself- a business you want to build, a leader who inspires you, a societal ill you wish to remedy, a family you want to grow, a cause you wish to serve.Connection gives you sightlines into how your everyday work (whether paid or unpaid) serves that calling by solving the problem at hand, growing the companys bottom line, or reaching that goal.Contribution is an understanding of how this job, this brand, this paycheck contributes to the communi ty you want to belong, the person you want to be, or the lifestyle youd like to live.Control reflects how you are able to influence your connection to that calling in order to have some say in the assignment of projects, deadlines, colleagues, clients, or other use of your time offer input into shared goals and do work that contributes to your family or career trajectory and earnings.To figure that out, Ive created a short quiz that will build a framework for you to follow to find and conquer your own version of consonance, determining how much calling, connection, contribution, and control you have and you want so that the what you do matches the who you are.Heres the good news there are no wrong answers. The only right answer is the right answer for you. And the only one who gets a vote in figuring that out is - you guessed it - also you.Laura Gassner Otting is the author of Limitless How to Ignore Everybody, Carve Your Own Path, and Live Your Best Life. Want to live a limitless life? Take her quick quiz at LimitlessAssessment.comto see whats holding you back, and what you can do about it.You might also enjoyNew neuroscience reveals 4 rituals that will make you happyStrangers know your social class in the first seven words you say, study finds10 lessons from Benjamin Franklins daily schedule that will double your productivityThe worst mistakes you can make in an interview, according to 12 CEOs10 habits of mentally strong people

Career lessons from legendary game show hosts

Career lessons from legendary game show hostsCareer lessons from legendary game show hostsLast year Game Changers, a documentary on game shows (hosted by none other than Jeopardy host Alex Trebek), highlighted our love and fascination with the TV mainstay and its sometimes-colorful past.In the spirit of those of us who love game shows, here are some career lessons to be learned from game show hostsMake your side hustle matterBack in the 1960s, Bob Eubanks who is best known for hosting The Newlywed Game was active in the music business. He mortgaged his home to raise funds to bring The Beatles to California for their initial appearance at the Hollywood Bowl in 1964 and 1965. Eubanks produced concerts for The Rolling Stones during their early tours and was also a producer for The Supremes, Bob Dylan, Elton John, and Barry Manilow. Oh, and he was Dolly Partons agent for a couple of years.Game show host career lesson learnedJust because youre good at one thing, doesnt mean you cant be gr eat at something else as well. Another game show host, Vanna White, is known for crocheting beautiful afghan blankets. White has a long-standing partnership with Lion Brand Yarn, specifically Vannas Choice Yarn.Be happy for the success of othersSpeaking of Vanna White, her co-host on Wheel of Fortune Pat Sajak is known on and off-camera as being the quintessential nice guy. Sajak seems genuinely thrilled when contestants on the show win big and crushed when they dont.Game show host career lesson learnedIt can be tempting to be so focused on crushing the competition that you forget to celebrate the success of deserving colleagues and friends. It wont diminish your own best moments if you remember to be happy for others.Your work could inspire people in unexpected waysAs the host of Lets Make a Deal, the late Monty nachhall would tease contestants faced with the dilemma of choosing an object behind an unmarked door. Hall would tantalize contestants with the allure of winning a car or valuable trip and tease them that they might just win a booby prize instead. Straightforward classic TV, right? Totally. But according to the Encyclopedia of Math, it also inspired a statistical puzzle known as the Monty Hall problem or Monty Hall paradox introduced by biostatistician Steve Selvin in 1975 in a letter to the journal The American Statistician.Game show host career lesson learnedJust because youre really good at one thing doesnt mean youll be stuck in that niche forever. Hall was a brilliant man who happened to be best at hosting TV game shows. But his particular brand of logic both inspired and entertained others.Take your time or notIn the documentary, its revealed that prolific game show creator Merv Griffin - who is credited with inventing both Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy - created the iconic Jeopardy theme heard in the Final Jeopardy round in just 90 seconds while sitting at Marlon Brandos old piano.Game show host career lesson learnedWhen youre really good a t something or have enough experience to know your strengths, it shows. While Griffin created some of televisions most iconic and enduring shows and spent years doing just that, he was confident that in under two minutes hed created something worth sharing. Dont spend extra time on a project or speech if you already know that its great. Go on to the next thing confident in your talent.Give credit where credit is dueYou may have noticed that in the above point I wrote that Griffin is credited with inventing Jeopardy Thats true. But it wasnt entirely his idea. According to a Wikipedia article on Griffin, it was actually his wife Julann who came up with the shows iconic answer then question format. In an AP profile released before the show launched in 1964, Griffin said I was mulling over game show ideas when she noted that there had not been a successful question and answer game on the air since the quiz show scandals. Why not do a switch and give the answers to the contestant and let them come up with the question.Game show host career lesson learnedYou may be the best at what you do, but chances are very good that you didnt do everything on your own. Sharing the credit doesnt just encourage good feelings within your team, it also encourages people to share their best work and ideas knowing theyll be properly acknowledged for it.

What you bring is what you get

What you bring is what you getWhat you bring is what you getI thought the gruppe retreat welches going great until the CEO left the room. We were halfway through the session. The team was finally opening up. I just cracked the code.?- ?I was thinking to myself.But, I was wrong.Our behavior reflects on others.Like an acute sounding board, ur brain internally echoes what others do and feel. Just by looking at someone we experience them,research shows.Follow Ladders on FlipboardFollow Ladders magazines on Flipboard covering Happiness, Productivity, Job Satisfaction, Neuroscience, and moreA team or organizational transformation is a reflection of ur own partal transformation. If we want others to be courageous, we must first give our very best.So, what really happened with this CEO?What You Reflect Comes Back toYouDriving change requires people to become comfortable with being uncomfortable?- ?and it starts with us.I didnt launch myconsultancyfor financial independence reasons?- ?I wante dspiritual freedom. After 20 plus years of consulting, I needed a clean slate. Unlike regular consultants, I wanted to experiment freely.Freedom meant choosing the clients I want to work with or leid. But, also exposing myself more than usual.Those who have worked with me know that Im not shy.Im comfortable speaking up my mind?- ?I love to challenge and be challenged. However, something was missing. My employers expected me to tell clients what they wanted to hear?- ?not for me to be authentic.That didnt stop me from speaking up. But, I wasnt giving my best self. I wasnt happy with I was reflecting on others either.Authenticity can become invisible to us but not to others.Our brains are wired to read cues so subtle that, even when we dont consciously register them, our bodies respond.Someones smile activates our own smile muscles in our faces. According toresearch, we internally register what that person is feeling. As a consequence, if their smile is fake, we are more likely to fee l uncomfortable.What we give reflects on othersA woman realized that she was doing an MBA not because she wanted to, but to please her husband. That same night she called him and let him know she was dropping out. The workshop had nothing to do with career change, but the experience still touched her.Another participant decided she didnt want to be miss nice anymore. People were taking advantage of her. This young woman wasnt planning to go rogue. She just wanted to take care of her dreams?- ?to become a priority. This happened after she finished writingher obituary.Did my facilitation or exercises help them see the light? Probably. But, something more important happened.Empathy makes us visible to others.When someone is upset but suppresses their feelings, we may not realize that they are angry. However,a studyshows that even if unnoticed, their gemeindewiese can increase our blood pressure.When we bring our best self to every moment, we inspire others to be authentic too.Empathy i s thestrongest superpowera change agent can have. Its not about being pitiful, but understanding. It helps us appreciate other peoples ideas, thoughts, beliefs, and emotions. We get to see their uniqueness.What Bends, DoesntBreakDriving change requires rebel leaders.When we think of rebels, we think of trouble. But, true rebels dont break things out of joy but to find the way out. They know how to break the habits that hold us back. Rebels challenge groupthink and routines.Being vulnerable is a form of rebellion.Rebels ask questions others dont?- ?they look at a problem from multiple perspectives. They dont pretend to have all the answers. They are okay with looking ignorant or making mistakes. Finding new solutions requires emptying our minds first.We have a fixed idea of rebels in the business world. Take Steve Jobs, for example. We often think of rebels as creative, but also difficult to work with. Its time to shift our thinking.As Francesca Gino said,To be a rebel does not mean you have to be an outcast or a troublemaker. Effective rebels are people who break rules in ways that are positive and productive.The author ofRebel Talentbelieves that we dont have to be born a rebel?- ?we can all become one.Leaders are often taught to keep a distance and project a perfect image. To look flawless, confident, and in control. Disclosing ones vulnerability in front of our coworkers is perceived as an act of weakness.Rebels are courageous because they are comfortable being vulnerable.The CEO who left the room wasnt unhappy with the team offsite. She just wasnt comfortable in her own skin. Her team was opening up, but she couldnt. She felt naked. And left.I thought I lost a client for good. Until, a couple of weeks later, she called me to share her progress?- ?she decided to open up. It wasnt easy though. But, she took the courage and got back in front of her team. She asked for forgiveness.Acknowledging why she left the team retreat while everyone else was playing alon g requires courage. It was a first step to embrace her vulnerable side. She realized thatbendingwasnt a weakness, but a strength.As Confucius said, The green reed which bends in the wind is stronger than the mighty oak which breaks in a storm.Vulnerability doesnt mean being weak but accepting we have flaws and weaknesses. When you recognize you are not perfect, you keep the door open. Thats how you grow.Being vulnerable is letting ourselves be seen?- ?our true self becomes an inspiration to others.Being Vulnerable Is a ResponsibilityPeople can tell when we are not genuine.Asresearchby the University of Wisconsin shows, while we may try to look perfect or in charge, we might also be perceived as inauthentic. Trust is not easy to build?- ?it requires courage.Being vulnerable doesnt mean being weak. Not everyone is ready to accept and acknowledge their weaknesses. But, thats the price you pay to liberate your best self.Vulnerability is our most accurate measurement of courage.?- ?Bren BrownLeading change is a mission full of responsibilities. You are accountable for what you reflect on your team, your organization, and yourself.1. Vulnerability inspiresteamsVulnerability emerged as the key theme from anin-depth studyof successful CEOs. Especially for those who experienced remarkable personal growth and professional success in their businesses.Adaptability to change requires bending without breakingAfter receiving harsh feedback, one of the CEOs chose to be vulnerable. He recognized he was too harsh and harming the team. After sharing his personal plan to his top 60 managers, he generated huge personal support.The team was so inspired that the company outperformed its competitors six years in a row.Driving change is not difficult resistancemakes it difficult. We need the face our fears head-on. And deal with we cant anticipate or control.2. A vulnerable culture seeds trust and innovationThe CEO of a large telco told me that he thought he knew his team very well. U ntil I asked them to share the last time they laughed, felt love, cried, lied, stole something, and thought about suicide.Disclosing our vulnerability in front of our coworkers gives others permission to give their best.This executive team has been working together for almost a decade. But never felt so comfortable sharing their mistakes before. Feeling exposed strengthened their relationships. Embracing everyones vulnerability made it feelsafer to speak up.Organizations are not initially open to embracing authenticity. They are okay when we talk about innovation, creativity, and change. But, vulnerability makes everyone uncomfortable. However, teams cant experiment without frailty and empathy.As Bren Brown explains, vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity, and change.Adaptability to change is all about being vulnerable. Fresh ideas are fragile?- ?they need a safe space to blossom.3. Vulnerability liberates the best version of ourselvesOne of the best compliments I ve ever received had nothing to do with my smarts, ideas, or skills. It was all about what I reflected on others. Thats what drove me to write this post.He is not asking us to do anything he hasnt done himself first, one participant shared with the rest. We were wrapping up a very demanding workshop. This person saw my vulnerable self and felt inspired to leave his comfort zone too.We are told that leaders shouldnt ask people to do something they wouldnt do themselves. That sounds tricky to me. Leaders are in a more comfortable position. What seems difficult for others, might not be that hard for them.Leaders must feel as uncomfortable as their teams do.As a change facilitator, I like to keep that present. Each person is fighting a different battle?- ?discomfort is a personal experience. I want to inspire people to become their best version, not to stretch as far as I would.Vulnerability creates accountability. It makes us responsible for bringing the best out of our teams, organiza tions, and ourselves.We are all good at expecting something from others. We want our leaders, coworkers or family to give more. But, what about ourselves?Empathy and vulnerability are catalysts for change. Our human frailty is more inspirational than any perfect image. What we reflect on others always comes back to us.Are you vulnerable and genuine? People always find out in the end. Give your best self.Im a change instigator helping people and organizations createpositive change. I advise, write, and speak on team development and culture transformation. Receive myweekly insightsor follow me onLinkedIn.This article first appeared on Medium .You might also enjoyNew neuroscience reveals 4 rituals that will make you happyStrangers know your social class in the first seven words you say, study finds10 lessons from Benjamin Franklins daily schedule that will double your productivityThe worst mistakes you can make in an interview, according to 12 CEOs10 habits of mentally strong people